Goodbye to you
by Eliisea
Summary: Sakura is troubled by herself. She and her father are constantly drifting so will the unexpected appearance of Syaoran and "Chii-lin" make things worse? CHAPTER 3 is UP!
1. The father

Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura, and I don't own anything else...the title was inspired by Michelle Branch's Goodbye to you, one of the most coolest songs on Earth. I reccomend you listen to that song while reading this fic because I think he brings out the fullest capacity of the fic. THANK YOU! (Oh yeah, btw, the song is in the story...) YOU MUST BE MATURE TO READ THE FIC.  
  
Into the story: Sakura is 18, so is Syaoran(Li) blah blah...everyone is older by 8 years.  
  
Li: Syaoran  
  
Touya: Tori  
  
Tomoyo: Madison Yukito: Julian...yada...  
  
No Eriol, sorry :(.  
  
"Goodbye to you"  
  
*Of all the things I believed in I just wanna get it over with... tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry... counting the days that pass me by...*  
  
CHAPTER 1: THE FATHER  
  
I walked up the steps to the night club. Time passed fast. Too fast for my eyes to see the blur. Too fast to see what was happening to me.  
  
I was alone again and it was pitch black night when I got back home that night. I could still remember everything that had happened to me before...before everything happened. I felt like talking to mother. But I doubted that a glass frame could answer my pleas for help.I walked up the stairs, the moonlight lit the top of the floor as I walked across to find my dimmed bedroom.  
  
"Sakura, you have some explaining to do. It's 1:00 am, you know your curfew is 12:00 am, why are you late?" Father was behind me like a curse. He was always there when ever I wanted to be free and he didn't know anything about me and he wanted to know all the truth that I had inside my soul. But, I didn't want him to open up the locked case that was my heart.  
  
"Look, Dad, I was out clubbing okay? So what I went an hour over curfew, it's not like I'm dead or anything." I knew I gave an obnoixous answer and I knew that father would pin me down for it. The whole idea of him losing his little girl must have pained him so much that he had to stay up all night and wait for an 18 year old slut to come home.  
  
"Sakura, you have no right to talk to me that way."  
  
"I talk to you everyday! You'd think you'd catch on. I stay out and club that's me okay dad? That is how I am. If you don't like it, kick me out of the house, it's not like I'm any use here!" My lungs pulsated with loud voice. My vocal chords outstretched and there was a din of noise bouncing off the bare stairwell walls.  
  
"Sakura!"  
  
"Look dad, I'll see you in the morning." I walked off to my room and slammed the door shut so that I couldn't hear what my father was mumbling. Nothin' good I would bet. Something about how I dress or something about how ugly I look with a halter top on in the middle of the night. I knew he thought at the back of the recesses of his mind I was a total slut. I knew he did and he couldn't change it...that was what was killing him. His little girl being absorbed by something that mother would never do. Well I was tired of that shit he put me through.  
  
I fluffed up my pillow and put my tired head on it. I had washed my face and combed my hair through before I hit the hay that night. I was so tired, unusual for my clubbing style...which usually lead to a sugar/ cocaine rush in the after hours, usually by now I would have been so drugged up I would have been seeing lucky charms.  
  
I lay in my bed for a while, the moonlight danced across my blanket and the windows pushed a subtle breeze through my bedroom. I was still looking for that special someone to make me feel like I was something to the world, not some teenager who had a case of pms rushing through her veins.  
  
I looked around the room for a few minutes, then I dosed off to sleep.  
  
Morning hit me in the face. The light streamed through the peep of the windows as I tried to get my body from the bed. I couldn't see anything, anything that clear anyway, it wasn't like those mad crack rushes that I had, it was the feeling of uncertainty in the morning.  
  
"G'mornin' Sakura." Touya said as he walked past me in the hallway. I didn't see what was so good about it. Dad was sulking over cereal while he was thinking about his ditchweed daughter of a slut going out in the after hours, talking back, and acting like an over all bitch.  
  
"Yeah, good morning Touya." I could've been nicer to him, but it was the morning and I didn't really give a rat's ass about anything.  
  
Dad didn't even look at me at breakfast. He only ate away at the soggy cereal in his bowl while probably sulking about losing his little baby girl. He didn't deserve it, I guess since Mom passed away and all...but I was a grown up woman. Eighteen, ready to graduate and actually start a life. I was supposed to be in the prime of my life...why did my father have to miss seeing his daughter go away?  
  
I briskly walked outside into the cold. It was fall, the leaves were dancing everywhere as the sky shown in the blue that it had always before. Nothing that new besides the fact that fall was trickling down the sides of Tokyo.  
  
Touya followed me by bicycle, he drove nervously down to the university as he traced my every step. He was following me and I knew it, as the "clank, clank" or the gears on his bike treaded behind me.  
  
"Touya, take your own route to university. Leave me alone." I started coldly as I zipped my plaid jacket up to distrupt the cold from entering my body. My heart already englulfed in flames.  
  
"Sakura, you can't run away from dad forever. You know dad Sakura, don't ignore what your heart is telling you. You know you are sad." Touya was getting on my nerves now, I looked up at him. He was wearing a white trenchcoat and the same old brown work pants he threw on each day. He had been taking Sciences for a long time and he was damn good at it too.  
  
"Touya, just-- just leave me alone. I'm not a baby anymore and you have no right to just follow me. I have a right to a life you know." Now I was really pushing it. I was pushing the limits of anger that Touya could hold. He was a great person, I would know, but he had a temperable mind. I was pushing the boundaries of his anger.  
  
"Sakura, you listen to me...." His eyes were engraved with rage. His tongue slashing in rage. His eyes as cold as the steel of a blade. Ready to cut at my throat for my loud remarks.  
  
"Look, Touya I have school. I'll see you after okay?" And with that, I walked off. I turned my head away from him and I could even feel the heat from his mind. He was angry with me and I knew that very well. He was angry because I was someone that could resist his force of mind. Someone that could bat away at his rage, coming out untarnished.  
  
The school bell rang. I could see hundreds of students rushing towards the entrance, trying to get into the school without being trampled.  
  
"Hey Tomoyo. So anything new happen?" I asked, I tried to sound as excited as possible. Being depressed wasn't something to be when you had your best friend with you.  
  
"Cut the crap Sakura-chan. I know you're sad, just tell me why." she pushed over her text books and gave me a long hard stare.  
  
"I don't feel like talking about it okay Tomoyo? I'm just tired of this whole fucking day." I brushed a strand of my auburn hair back and looked back into the mirror in my locker. The cool surface didn't compliment well to my already icy complexion. I swallowed hard and continued to brush my hair with a small red comb.  
  
"Well if you want to talk about it, I have lunch fourth period. Please talk to me okay, you know I'll always be there to help." She patted my shoulder and continued to walk away into the hall, her silohette slowly disappearing in the din of noises.  
  
I wouldn't talk to her today, only because there was a void ripping apart at my very heart but I couldn't explain why there was an emptiness there. I rubbed the mirror staring back at me and closed my eyes. I thought of pretty things like unicorns and fairies, anything to get me out of the night mare I was in. 


	2. Everything I knew

THE NEXT CHAPTER MAUAHAAH. Hrrrm...well just continue reading, same warnings, don't do anything I wouldn't do! *rams head against wall*  
  
CHAPTER 2: EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW  
  
Touya ate his ice cream without me. He didn't care and it wasn't as if I wasn't okay with him eating ice cream without me. Dad had left us two ice cream pudding treats in the fridge, why he even made one for me was beyond my reasoning.  
  
He slurped and he bit into his treat without even once looking at me. It wasn't as if I was going to demand him to look at me. I wasn't ten anymore, I didn't have to let himlook at me or else I'd have a horrible day. He made a face and continued eating away like a pig.  
  
"Go ahead. Slurp it down. I don't give. It's not like I'm going to have to let you talk to me Touya, I'm not a girl anymore."  
  
He didn't answer, he just looked at me strangely but continued to bury his face with the massive pile of cream that awaited his pig like lips to endulge. I looked down at my own pudding but didn't dare touch the surface. Dad had made it, it was contaminated.  
  
"Eat it Sakura. It's not poison." he finally said, giving me a stern glare.  
  
"How would you know Touya-kun, he doesn't have a grudge against you like he does me, for all I know. This could have rat poison in it." I poked around at the creamy concoction and pulled out a cherry and ate it to satisfy my brother's nerves.  
  
"If you're not going to eat it. I will. Poison or not." I gulped, the cold cherry swirved down my throat and the sensation of the fruit's sweet aroma twisted my head. I pushed the bowl away. This food was not to be eaten by me.  
  
"Fine. Give it to me, I'll eat it squirt." He took the bowl and pushed aside his own. He continued to spoon the bitterly sweet cream into his mouth and his enjoyment revolted my very being.  
  
"I'm going to my room." I got up and pushed the chair back into the table and slowly walked down the yellow hallway into my own room.  
  
I sat at the vanity for a while, looking at my straight auburn hair. It was long and grand some said. I didn't think so. I thought it looked like a broom's head. There were bits of blonde poking around in the tendrils of brown thread. I didn't like them but I knew that they were there to stay.  
  
I closed my eyes and thought of things that were beyond my control. I dreamt of things like fairies, unicorns, and minstrils like I had in my other dreams. They were the only things that comforted me now. But when I closed my eyes once more the image of a young brown haired boy dashed through my thoughts. The boy was fair and beautiful and the boy was someone that seemed very close to me...yet he was so unknown to my being. My aura. "Arigatou Sakura-chan, thank you my first love." the boy said, before his voice started shrill and boyish but his chords ended in a deep lustful husky tone.  
  
"Syaoran." I found myself saying. Li Syaoran. But who was this boy that I had mentioned? What did his name mean to me? I seived through my memories but found nothing but blank thoughts and my father's complaining and bitching. I shuddered and looked back into my reflection.  
  
"I've been searching deep down in my soul, words that I've been hearing are starting to get old, it feels like I'm starting all over again, the last three years were just pretend,"  
  
But my memory recclaimed me. Syaoran was my first love, but I didn't remember him. I barely did. It had almost been five long years he was gone and I was starting to feel the bitter quality that humans posessed most, forgettfullness, I curse genetics for their foul play.  
  
Suddenly, a knock came at the door. I turned around and saw a girl draped in a long pale dress. Her hair was black and her smile was merry. Tomoyo smiled and looked for a spot to sit on my bed. She pushed over some of my clothes and sat perfectly still and waited for me to speak.  
  
"Hello Tomoyo." I said, turning my chair towards the girl.  
  
"Hello Sakura," she said, "listen, I want to tell you something..." she struggled to get the words from her mouth and she gave up half way trying to tell me. She shrugged and her smile turned to an uneasy grin.  
  
"I had a dream Tomoyo, I had dream about a beautiful boy." I said, looking out into the window.  
  
"It was Syaoran wasn't it?"  
  
"It was, how do you know?"  
  
"Sakura, you love Syaoran. It isn't hard to see. You can deny it all you will, but your angst will be the only answer you'll get. I wish you'd be true to your heart about this Sakura-chan." she breathed deeply and tried to find answers in me, but I was blank and shallow as kiddie pool water. There were no answers that lay in me.  
  
"You know nothing. You know nothing! I don't even remember his smell, his face, his everything. He is nothing to me. He is erased from my memory! Do you hear me? I can't even remember his face!" I didn't even hear my own screams. My screams of agony. I didn't even hear my own words that came from my lips. I didn't remember anything; a silence bombarded my head and my heart was growing tired. 


	3. In your eyes

Are you scared? You should be. It's chapter 3! PLEASE R+R!!!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"In your eyes"  
  
Tomoyo was waiting at the bus stop with me. I tugged at my shoulder length hair. It had grown that summer. It was long and flowing, not like in my child years. I had abandoned my pig tails and hair ties and just let my hair out for the world to see. Besides, it'd be stupid to wear pig tails into a club.  
I tapped on my watch and adjusted my bra strap. I was wearing a powder blue tank top and old shorts that I had worn since I was thirteen. I wasn't a sight to see, in fact. I wasn't worth seeing at all; I was just that pitiful looking. My father probably would have tried to throw me off the street if he had known I'd be wearing what I was.  
I wondered in the back of my head whether Syaoran would care if I looked the same or not. I knew I really didn't look the same from when I was thirteen. I remember the last time seeing him; it was in a photo.  
He had sent me a Christmas card for the holidays. I didn't read it. I only took out the picture slipped behind the envelope and put it to my heart. He looked no different from the last time I had seen him. His hair was longer and his eyes were smaller, but not much had changed.  
This time I wouldn't know for sure. It had been eight long years since we had laid eyes on each other. Eight long years since I had looked longingly into his eyes--asking for another chance at winning his heart. A lonely thought crept into my mind and my heart was slowly engulfing in the seas of unhappiness.  
I could see Tomoyo sensed I was sad. She turned to me and patted my shoulder. I smiled but only a smile that could be seen on the outside. Yet, on the inside; I was burning in my own flames of doubt and was slowly sinking in the wet sands of time. My life was shit.  
A harsh breeze pulsated from a vehicle passing by. It was the bus. I slowly took Tomoyo's hand and pulled her to follow me up the stairs. Even though I was drowning in my own guilt, I still had to go face up to my realities.  
The bus driver gave us a dirty look and moved his head indicating to get on the bus. Seeing his aggravation at us, I flipped up my bus pass and quickly snapped my head back in an "I don't give a damn" action. If I had seen myself in a mirror I knew I probably would've resembled a constapated owl. You win some you lose some.  
The people in the bus were no happier than the bus driver was. In fact, they seemed more unwilling to allow anymore passengers on the lonely seats to no where. It wasn't as if we were going to take up a lot of seats, and even if we were there were at least ten more seats that didn't have an occupant.  
We sat in two seats near the back of the bus. Maybe it would let us have some peace. I hurriedly edged into the window seat; not even asking twice if Tomoyo wanted to sit there. I felt tense and nervous, there was no time to ask questions. There was only enough time for action.  
"Sakura, calm down. You're going to have a heart attack. We'll be at the airport in no time." she assured, smiling her usual airy smile. It was sweet but I still hated it. Sugar rotted my teeth.  
"Okay, I will. I'm just a little bit tense that's all." Tense couldn't even describe the anxiety growing in me.  
"It'll be fine. Hey, did Li say he was going to bring Meiling with him?"  
"Meilin? I don't know. Syaoran didn't really say much in his letter."  
"Then why did you start to cry and yell when you did read it?" she questioned, pushing her curious blue eyes in my face.  
"Because I have problems. Well...he kinda asked me to do something."  
"Like..." she continued, even more persistent to find out the answers.  
"I really don't wanna talk about this right now."  
At first her expression seemed blank and veilled, but as the life flooded back into her blood and through her veins, she smiled accepting my decision to not tell her. For once.  
The scenery sped by as the bus increased its speed, almost like it was trying to get away from something. Maybe its past, maybe passengers, maybe the hatred of the world. Or maybe it was just me.  
As we slowed down, a cringe of darkness pinned my heart to the seat. I pushed away the feeling and pulled myself up on my feet. There was no time to dilly dally or slow down. I had to face destiny.  
When we got off the bus, I immediately heard the sounds of the engines of airplanes speeding away into the distance or the sounds of jets slowly descending onto the ground from their tiring flight. Maybe one of those planes was the one Syaoran was on; though I would never find out.  
  
The coffee shop was closed. It shouldn't have been. I needed a lot of coffee to get my stress out of the way. I needed some good coffee to get myself awake and ready to face the visage (err face...) or Li Syaoran. Where was a bar when you needed one?  
A loud voice boomed from the speakers, "Flight 0023 from Hong Kong to Tokyo has now arrived. I repeat, Flight 0023 from Hong Kong to Tokyo has arrived at terminal fifteen." I swallowed hard and slowly treaded towards terminal fifteen.  
Suddenly an surge of insecurity crusaded through my mind. What if I couldn't recognize Syaoran and he couldn't recognize me? My mind was flying everywhere and my thoughts were amazingly disorganized. I was a friggin mess.  
Soon after my worried thoughts, a boy's head emerged from the tunnel and a girl will long tumbling hair followed him. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it would just pump out of my chest.  
When I saw the boy's face, it looked different from Syaoran's. Yet, when I looked again, his michiefous eyes were the same of the young boy I had parted with so long ago. When he saw me, he immediately smiled and ran towards me.  
"Sakura!" he yelled, pulling me close to him. I desperately tried to chase down my heart, because it had ran away from me at this very moment.  
"Syaoran!" I cried back, trying to catch my ecstatic breath.  
"I want you to meet someone." he then said, softly pulling away from me. "Chii-lin, this is Sakura. Sakura, this is Chii-lin."  
My heart stopped pumping. The people in the airport stopped walking. Tomoyo's jaw dropped and Syaoran's voice was masked by a fine layer of disbelief.  
"Glad to meet you Sakura." 


End file.
